Banana, Cashews and Tears with my Coffee

I often explain my flood of emotions by telling people I’m an artist, I can’t help it. I cannot, will not keep my feelings bottled up… I put them in words or paint them on canvas. This morning I sit here, thinking of the one girl who has inspired me, supported me and even been by my side as I started making the choice to become an art teacher. She’s sick right now….like really sick. So as I eat my banana and cashews, drink my coffee and cry….I’ll also paint. I keep thinking of ways to help her, but prayer and living life seems to be the best thing I can do for her right now. She says, ART SAVES….and I believe with every fragment of my mind, heart and soul, that she is right.

One might...

One might ask what is the hardest part about being a single mother, living with her brother, working 2 jobs and taking two classes at community college. Let me answer that question. The hardest part is staring at a mirror covered in post it notes with written reminders of everything I have to do while the reflection of my once, young and thin, now tired and chubbier, face stares back at me from behind all those post its. Have I lost the girl I was in my twenties? Has she disappeared under stretch marks, dark circles, piles of children's books, toys, dirty dishes and homework? This question I ask all the time. I am often overwhelmed. Sometimes, I feel very lonely. Now, you're wondering what the heck does this have to do with my art and  I'll tell you. Art isn't something I get to just do all the time cause I'm happy and creative with time on my hands. Art is an outlet for a lot of pain, emotions and struggle. I only get to do it when I have a day off. I don't have a private studio or paintings in a gallery. I paint out of my dining room, which is also the same room I do homework in, art projects with my daughter in, and eat dinner in. I told my math teacher, one might say I am a smart person but a messy one. To my surprise, he said, "One might say the same about me." That gave me hope. So don't feel bad for me, this mess is an important one, this mess is my journey. Be proud that I am here to paint my battles because they are ones I am either in the midst of overcoming or ones I have already conquered.  No matter how many people buy my art, look at my art, or hang my art, it is still there as evidence that I grew. I still see it, whether anyone else does or not. I am strong, we all are............. Now I must sleep. Math in the morning.

What the Heck Am I Doing?

I'm 35 years old and just now creating a website for my art and art services. Tell me to paint a picture, cook a meal, help build a sidewalk, act in a play, analyze a poem, paint a house, wait tables, train bartenders, run a race or whatever else I've done in my life... -but create a website and I am completely lost...sheesh, I hope this works...

SO, let's talk about art. I love art obviously. I believe it heals and opens minds. I believe it can be an escape, either for the artist or the admirer. Let me also add those who admire art are just as important as those who create it. Art is meant to inspire. Tu Pac said, "I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that WILL change the world."  I agree with Pac... but I have my heart set on changing the least some of the bad parts of it anyway. I am currently going to school to be an elementary teacher. Why elementary? -Because I love helping kids learn. I love to TEACH. Kids are fun, they're also crazy...but hey, I bartended for over a decade of my life, I figure I can handle kids. After all, bartending can sometimes seem like your babysitting adults. -Anyways back to kids. I feel like art is my most natural way to communicate to them. It reaches them. When I see a kid see a painting of mine, I feel automatically appreciated. I see their little faces light up and then they want to ask a question or draw a picture to show me, and that makes me happy. I'm happy because I feel like they have been inspired. We can all inspire, by the way, it doesn't have to be through art. A kind word or small act of kindness can inspire too...even change the world.

Peace and Love,  Britt